


Harrison

by velvetglove



Category: Smallville
Genre: Boarding School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-03
Updated: 2004-01-03
Packaged: 2018-10-29 21:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10862838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetglove/pseuds/velvetglove
Summary: Lex makes and breaks a friend at boarding school.





	Harrison

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Live Journal on 01/03/04 as a WIP entitled Lex @ Excelsior. It was originally intended to be the fifth of five stories about Lex pre-Smallville, but this was the only one ever completed. 
> 
> Minor editing/changes in 05/17.

**Excelsior Preparatory Academy**  
**Wickersham, Connecticut**  
**October 1995**

It starts with Harrison Hughes, who approaches him on Friday afternoon following a miserable hour of compulsory soccer. Lex had been hit hard, for no reason, by some beefy blond fuck on Hughes' team. At fifteen, he's big enough that the teachers no longer feel the need to protect him. and Lex is always getting hit for no real reason: for having a really rich dad, for having no hair, for being smart. He hangs back while his classmates shower, dress, and leave, before stripping off his sweaty gear and padding naked to the showers.

"Hey, Luthor?" Soft voice, concerned. It's Hughes, and at first Lex thinks he's going to be beaten up. Although it hasn't happened yet this fall, it's not like it would be unexpected. But when he turns around, Hughes is naked too, and alone, and he isn't giving off aggressive signals. "Let me see," he says, motioning toward Lex's shoulder. It's a raw, scraped area flecked with black dirt, too tender to let the water hit it directly. It'll be healed by tomorrow morning, if not sooner, but there's no way anyone would know that to look at it. Hughes stands facing him, catching water in his cupped hand and sluicing it gently over the wound. The water still stings, but not as badly as spray from the showerhead. "Sutliffe's going to pay for hitting you. He had no reason to do that."

"It's all right." It's not, but Lex will never admit that it bothers him.

"No it's not. He's a bastard. You didn't do anything to deserve it." Hughes' hand drops to rest lightly on Lex's neck for a moment before pulling away as if burned. Hughes has pale eyes, like a wolf, and there are tiny freckles across the broken bridge of his nose. Now his other hand reaches toward Lex's scalp, but stops short. "How'd you lose it, anyway?"

People always wonder about the hair; it's the first real thing anyone asks him. "Accident."

"It'll never grow back?" Hughes' dark hair curls in the steam. He's staring at Lex's mouth.

"Probably not."

Hughes colors a little and lifts his eyes to meet Lex's. "So, there's a party in my room tonight. You should come."

"Yeah?" Lex has never been invited to any of the clandestine social events on his hall before; he's a little suspicious that this is a joke.

"Yeah," Hughes says, "You should." He seems sincere—eager, even.

"Maybe," Lex hedges.

"Cool," Hughes says. "See you later, then." He walks out of the shower and out of sight and, a minute later, there's the sound of his locker banging shut. Lex listens for the hall door, straining to hear beyond the sound of the water. It's only after he's certain Hughes has gone that he feels comfortable enough to turn his back on the locker room to wash.

~~~

Earlier, Lex is certain, there were shot glasses lined up on a desk, each with a slosh of tequila. There was some sort of girl-on-girl porn video on repeat. There was a bong made out of lab equipment and really good pot. Someone had shouted, "Hey, Luthor!" and he'd tensed for a moment, but it was only Donnie Pickering trying to get his attention, nudging him with a shoulder to encourage him to hand off the bong.

Now, hours later, his head is spinning, and he's not sure if the lights are out or if he's gone blind. There's breath hot on the back of his neck and a strange hand inside his trousers rubbing at his dick. He whimpers and a voice says, "You like that?" and the hand rubs some more, stroking him until he's hard.

He's panting, moving into the touch, but then the hand withdraws and bears down on his hip, flipping him onto his back. He realizes that his eyes are screwed shut, which is why he can't see anything. When he lets them open, he's looking into the handsome face of Harrison Hughes, nose to nose. He can feel Hughes' breath on his mouth, then a wet swipe of tongue against his lip, so he lets his mouth open a little and his eyes fall closed so that they can kiss.

When they break for air, he can feel Harrison hard against his thigh, and he says, "Where did everyone go?"

Harrison says, "I made them leave. You were passed out." He kisses Lex again, sliding a hand under his shirt. "God, you feel good."

Lex finds that he doesn't have to question whether he wants this, not at all. He starts to unbutton his shirt, gets to the bottom few buttons, thinks a moment, and then stops. "Wait. I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you." Harrison bends his head and runs his tongue flat over Lex's nipples, first one and then the other. "I _like_ you." His silky hair tickles.

Lex finishes with the buttons. "You never act like it." Harrison seems to be having trouble with Lex's belt, so Lex takes over, getting both the buckle and his trousers unfastened. "I mean, except for _now_."

"Duh," Harrison explains. "I didn't want anyone to know." He reaches for Lex's dick and watches his face. When his hand closes around Lex's shaft, Lex shudders and bites his lip and Harrison smiles. He slides down Lex's body and kisses the head of his cock, which forces all the air out of Lex's lungs. He's gasping as Harrison says, "I've only done this twice before, okay?"

Lex doesn't have time to say he's _never_ done it before, from either side, before his dick slides between Harrison's lips and he's coming, abrupt and blinding. Harrison chokes and coughs, but swallows what he can. Lex lies bonelessly on the coverlet, his spent dick vulnerable and spit-slick against his groin, and tries to remember how to breathe.

Harrison says, "Just let me—" but doesn't finish his thought. Instead, he moves back up so they're face to face and Lex feels Harrison's erection slide against his hipbone. He grabs for Harrison's ass and feels the muscles flex under his hands as Harrison grinds against him. Harrison comes soundlessly, holding his breath. Lex can only tell that he came because suddenly the hem of his shirt is wet and Harrison is no longer moving.

Harrison rolls off of him, but leaves an arm draped across his chest. He murmurs, "Sleep here, 'kay?" Lex's head is still spinning, so it's easiest to go ahead and do just that.

When he wakes in the morning, Harrison is grinning at him, and huffing foul breath in his face. He says, "We missed breakfast in the dining hall."

Lex's head feels like it's going to split open. He throws a forearm over his eyes to keep out the light. "I'm dying," he says. "I need coffee."

Harrison rolls over him, out of the bed. "Let's catch the bus to town then. We can go to the diner." He's already out of his soiled school trousers, pulling on a pair of jeans. He stops and looks at Lex. "What are you waiting for? Go get changed, man."

So Lex goes. He pulls on jeans and a t-shirt and digs his wallet out of his backpack. He got a blowjob from Harrison Hughes last night, and now they're going to go have breakfast like regular friends. He's expecting Harrison to do something shitty at any second, expects the entire soccer team to be lined up waiting to kick his ass, but all that happens when he knocks at Harrison's door is his new friend answers, smiling and eager to go.

Patrick Rutherford hollers, "Hey! Harris! Wait up!" He comes running up, sees Lex, and stops. "Hey," he says, unsure. "What's going on?" He looks at Harrison questioningly.

"We got so wasted last night," Harrison says. He yawns and adds, "Lex passed out in my room and we missed breakfast, so we're catching the bus into town."

Patrick says, "Can I come?"

Harrison shrugs and looks at Lex. Lex shrugs back. "We're just catching the bus," Harrison says. "Come if you want."

Patrick says, "I'll go get my coat. I'll see you guys in a few." He runs off, blond hair bright as a flag.

Harrison shrugs again and says, "He's okay. He's kind of stupid, though."

Lex rolls his eyes. "I noticed." 

Harrison rewards him with a grin.

~~~

It's cold out, and the windows of The Early Bird are opaque with condensation. The booths are full of Excelsior boys. Patrick Rutherford does tag along, so Harrison slides in next to Lex, leaving Patrick with his own bench in the booth.

Patrick holds his finger over the end of the straw in his water glass and transfers water, drop by drop, to the tabletop. "So I didn't know you guys were friends," he says, eyeing Lex suspiciously.

Lex shrugs. "Apparently you don't know everything."

Harrison snorts approvingly, but otherwise ignores Patrick's question. It's a good maneuver, because now Patrick just looks embarrassed that he asked. Harrison's knee presses against Lex's under the table; Lex coughs and shifts in his seat.

Black coffee with lots of sugar, hash browns, waffles. It sounds good until it arrives, and then the food just seems like an affront to his system. The coffee is working, though. Harrison grabs half the bacon off of Patrick's plate and drops a couple of strips on top of Lex's waffle.

Patrick says, "Fuck you, Hughes," but half-heartedly. Lex enjoys the bacon immensely, and once that's down, the rest of the food is easier to swallow.

~~~

Pressed together hip to knee on a bench near the back of the bus, Lex feels the jolts from the road vibrate through Harrison's bones. Lex can feel Harrison looking at him, but he looks out the window, feigning indifference. There are some younger kids from school up front, shooting them sidelong glances and giggling. Lex is pretty sure he knows what they're thinking. They're wondering what Harrison is doing with The Freak.

Harrison leans toward him, points out the window at the title on the marquee of Wickersham's only movie theater. "Have you seen that yet?" he asks. Lex merely shakes his head. Despite attending Excelsior for the last four years, he'd never been to the diner until this morning, and he's never been to the movie house. He's hasn't participated in the social life of the school at all. It had never occurred to him that he'd be allowed.

"It's supposed to suck," Harrison continues cheerfully. "I'm going next week. Want to come?"

Lex shrugs. "Sure. I guess." Frankly, he doubts they'll still be talking next week.

They get off of the bus, walk into the dormitory together, and climb three flights of stairs side by side. Harrison walks all the way to Lex's door. "Can I come in for a minute?"

Lex's heart pounds a little harder as he unlocks the door. "Okay." His room looks like all the other rooms: messy, like the nest of some animal that hoards laundry and textbooks. Harrison shuts the door behind them. Lex flips through the suddenly fascinating papers strewn haphazardly across the surface of his desk. He can feel Harrison standing right behind him, a wall of heat, and his pulse roars in his ears.

Low, playful voice. "Hey."

Lex turns to face him and says, "Hey," back, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat. Harrison grins like Lex has done something endearing. Lex frowns.

"It's okay," Harrison says reassuringly, picking an imaginary loose thread from the shoulder of Lex's coat. "I like you. I want us to be friends." Lex considers this a moment. He knows this isn't how people behave when they want to be friends, but it is possible that Harrison really does like him. He doesn't have enough experience of being liked to know what's normal or usual. Harrison lifts a hand to cup the back of Lex's neck and bends to kiss him. Lex's hands stay in his pockets, but he relaxes a little under Harrison's mouth.

As the kiss intensifies, their coats fall on the floor, and they squirm on the narrow bed, jeans around their knees, Lex's t-shirt is bunched up at the level of his armpits and Harrison hovers over Lex, balanced on one arm. With his other hand, he strokes their cocks together in the dark vee between their bodies. Lex moves his hips up into Harrison's fist, breathing in shallow little grunts. Harrison says, "You're so fucking hot," and freezes, biting his lip as he comes all over Lex's chest. He keeps moving his hand, saying, "That's right, that's right," and doesn't stop until Lex comes too.

~~~

Harrison Hughes is sixteen. He's six feet tall, lean and lanky, and has dark hair that flops in his eyes. He has a blue shadow on his cheeks by midday, and he looks like a man among boys. He's the star center on the Excelsior soccer team, runs the 400 in track, and he likes to suck cock. His friends call him Harris, and he wants Lex to consider him a friend.

Harris isn't gay, of course; no one at an all-boys school is gay. Harris has a girlfriend, Madison Prescott, a sophomore at Seeley Academy, Excelsior's sister school. She's Junior Women's Dressage Champion for all of the state, and the maintenance of that status takes up the majority of her free time. Caring for her waist-length blonde hair tends to occupy her in her non-equestrian hours. She's a nice enough girl, and she offers to find a friend for Lex. Lex supposes all Excelsior boys will marry someone like her eventually.

Last week's tormentors accept Lex into their circle with nary a raised eyebrow. He's Harris' friend, and Harris is well-liked, popular. No one questions Harris' sudden interest in The Freak, either. This is an all-boys' school, after all, and maybe everyone suspects they're fucking, but no one's going to come right out and ask what Harris is doing when his door's locked and he's pretending to study.

~~~

They have music on, but not too loud. Harris sprawls naked on his unmade bed and says, "No one ever wanted to before." That does take some of the pressure off of Lex, since Harris won't necessarily know if he's any good at it or not. The problem is Lex wants to be good at this, like he wants to be good at everything; he'd rather Harris had more experience and could compare.

Lex kneels beside the bed, between Harris' feet, and puts a hand flat on Harris' stomach, saying, "Give me some room," which makes Harris laugh as he leans back on his elbows and spreads his legs wider apart. His cock stands up stiff from its ruff of crisp, dark hair, nodding with his pulse and jerking each time Lex's fingertips move over his skin.

Lex has touched Harris before, reaching down between their bodies, but he's never had him so exposed. He's never seen how the pieces all fit together, and he lifts Harris' balls, admiring the way the cylinders of his thighs meet the globes of his ass. The space between Harris' testicles and asshole is hairless and silky and just the width of Lex's thumb; when he strokes the skin, Harris exalts Lex effusively, right alongside god and Jesus.

The head of Harris' cock is swollen and drooling, livid magenta on a mottled shaft that's fat with blue veins. It's an ugly, brutish thing. Lex slides his thumb over the slit and then puts his sticky fingers in his mouth. Salty, bitter, similar to his own. He puts his right hand on Harris' hip and grasps his cock with the left. He wishes he had some flourish to add, something to mark the occasion of his first taste of dick, but all he can think of is to just do it, duck down and take the head in past his lips.

Harris groans, amplified a thousandfold, and Lex pulls off, startled. "Harris! Jesus! Shut up, man."

"Sorry, sorry." Harris quivers on the bed and his restless hands come up to pet Lex's head and shoulders. "God, Lex, do you know how good that feels?"

"I've got some idea," Lex says dryly. "C'mon, just let me do this." He holds Harris' cock upright and bends over it again, reaching out with his tongue to swipe away the ooze at the slit before sucking in the head. Harris whimpers, a high keening sound, hopefully covered by the music. Lex keeps his lips rolled over his teeth as he takes in more of Harris' length. He feels the weight on his lip, on his tongue, and makes more spit to ease the slide, pulling back a little, then pushing forward. Harris groans and his feet come up off the floor, his knees by Lex's ears.

When Harris' cock bumps the back of his throat, Lex gags, drooling over his hand and Harris' groin. "You okay?" Harris asks, but Lex just waves him off, annoyed with himself. He wants to be perfect at this. Did Harris' cock get bigger, or is his mouth really _that_ small? He can feel the stretch to either side of his scar, not painful but just _tight_. "Ah! Ow!" Harris cries, and Lex rolls his lips back over his teeth. Harris' hands range over his head, grabbing at his ears like handles, and Lex squirms out of his grip. He pulls off with a wet pop, like the breaking of a soap bubble, and says, "Don't _do_ that."

"Oh _fuck_ ," Harris breathes. "Lex, Lex, oh god! Just keep-keep, _please_ keep doing that, _please_!" His legs still float, feet off the ground, but he lets them drop to Lex's hips, the soles cold and a little gritty from the floor, and uses the leverage he gets there to push deeper into Lex's throat with his strong, soccer-playing legs. It's like a fight, almost—a struggle to control the rhythm and pace. Lex holds Harris' hips with both hands, tries to breathe around his thrusts. Harris grips Lex's forearms and warns him, "I'm gonna come…" Lex feels Harris' cock swell, tension in the muscles under his fingers, and he gulps a breath, swallowing as Harris freezes, back arched and cock jumping. Lex chokes but recovers and keeps swallowing, fingers digging into Harris' hips.

Lex licks at Harris' spent cock until he's twitching, then crawls up to lie next to him. Harris rolls onto his side and says, "Can I kiss you?"

"If you want." Lex lets Harris taste himself in his mouth. Harris is still shaking and, after the kiss, he buries his face in Lex's neck, gasping raggedly. "That was good?" Lex asks, and Harris snorts with laughter, then kisses him again. Lex feels a flush of pride as Harris pushes him onto his back and strokes him from shoulder to hip, pinching his nipples in passing. Lex spreads his legs and Harris settles between them, kissing his way down Lex's chest and belly while he coaxes Lex's cock upright with his hand.

It's always a surprise, how hot and wet Harris' mouth is. Harris' tongue swirls around the head of his cock and Lex bites his lip hard so as not to scream. He plants his feet on the mattress and lifts his hips against Harris' jaw, pumping as hard he's allowed, his fingers knotted in dark curls. Harris whimpers and swallows greedily, and his excitement pushes Lex over the edge.

As they lie back, panting softly, a thin blade of light slices in between the blinds, illuminating one of Harris' odd, pale eyes, the crest of his cheekbone, a wedge of ear and a dark curl. Harris is an open book. He says, "You're beautiful," and means it, and strokes Lex's cheek. It worries Lex a little: he wants to be good at sucking cock, generally, and he tries hard not to personalize this any more than necessary. Harris, on the other hand, just wants to be the best at sucking Lex's cock. Harris likes him too much.

~~~

While Lex is in chemistry, last class of the day, Harris is across the hall in biology, probably not paying attention. On the days when he doesn't have practice or a game, Harris waits for Lex in the hall, lounging boneless on the wide windowsill. They change out of their uniforms, the gray pants and the blazer with the stupid crest. Once they're in jeans and t-shirts, they catch the bus to town, eat French fries at the diner and maybe see a movie. For new releases, they'd have to go to the mall out on Route 12, so they go to dollar shows at the downtown movie house. They've seen what have to be some of the worst movies ever made from the front row of the balcony. Sometimes Madison meets them at the theater. She likes Lex; she thinks he's funny, although he's not sure why. She likes to sit in the middle, and Lex pretends it doesn't bother him when she and Harris spend the entire movie making out.

This time, she's got a friend with her. "Lex," Madison says, "This is Victoria. She's new."

The girl has long, wavy brown hair, a strong jaw, and large breasts under a ski sweater stretched tight. "Hello, Lex," she says. She's got a clipped British accent, which reminds him of his Mom and makes him want to like her, even though he knows better.

"Victoria. Nice to meet you." He catches Harris' eye, and the look on his friend's face is complicated.

In the theater, in the dark, Victoria latches onto Lex like a lamprey. "I know about you," she whispers, her tongue darting out to trace the rim of his ear. "Guess what? You're LuthorCorp and I'm Hardwick Industries. We're natural enemies." Lex thinks that she probably wanted to meet him for precisely that reason. If he's part of some scheme to piss off her dad, he's okay with that for now.

Victoria kisses like they're in a race. He reaches under her sweater and feels her nipples hard through the lace of her bra. She sticks her hand down his pants and jerks him off, even though Madison is right there, sitting on his other side. As she wipes her hand off with a napkin, she whispers, "Have you ever gone down on a girl?" When he shakes his head, she says, "I'm going to have to show you," and he worries that she'll expect him to do it right then and there, but she seems satisfied with kissing for the moment.

While they wait for their respective buses, holding hands in the snow, Lex asks Victoria, "So how did you end up at Seeley?"

Victoria tosses her hair and gives him a wicked look. "They say I'm incorrigible," she says. "Can you believe it?"

Madison giggles and Harris laughs stiffly. The bus that goes past Seeley arrives first, and they wave at the girls until the bus turns the corner, out of sight. Harris says, "Well. She seemed okay, I guess. For the type."

"I liked her." Lex tries not to grin, but fails.

~~~

Christmas in Metropolis is a subdued affair. At brunch, Dad gives Lex the laptop that he picked out for himself when he was home at Thanksgiving. After confirming that Lex will be available for a tuxedo fitting for the New Year's party, Dad disappears. Lex plays Nintendo and surfs porn online for two weeks. During the New Year's party, remembering last year's horrors, he reverts to hiding in the coat closet. He thinks about Harris, but tries not to. He has a phone number for the Hughes' ski cabin, but every day he decides anew that he won't make the call.

~~~

When Lex returns to Excelsior after the winter break, Harris is already back and waiting for him. The school van pulls into the drive and Lex busies himself with his bags. Harris is so obvious, standing out on the steps, shivering and pink-cheeked in the crisp air. Lex wishes he didn't feel a corresponding surge of joy in his own chest.

Lex steps out of the van, squinting in the light off the snow. Harris is grinning like an idiot, walking out to meet him. "Hey." Harris nudges him with a shoulder and picks up a bag.

Lex raises an eyebrow. "Hey, yourself. Nice holiday?"

Harris shrugs. "All right, I guess." He trails Lex up the stairs, down the hall, follows him into his room. He drops the bag on the floor and pushes Lex up against the door, kissing him hard.

Lex had thought about it over the break and decided that they'd really have to stop, but now that Harris is kissing him, he doesn't remember why he wanted to do that. Harris is making these little breathy sounds, high-pitched and frantic, that always turn Lex on. His lips are cold, his teeth are colder, and he hides his frigid smile against Lex's neck while his icy fingers slide beneath the hem of Lex's shirt and unbutton his jeans. Lex gasps at the shock, and Harris chuckles as he drops to his knees. His cold cheek slides briefly against Lex's belly and then his mouth envelops Lex's cock. Past the lips and teeth, he's hot as a furnace inside, and the contrast is excruciating; Lex hisses between clenched teeth and arches his back. The icy tip of Harris' nose numbs a spot below Lex's navel. He grabs handfuls of Harris' hair and thrusts his hips forward, deeper and hotter and wetter, and then Harris whimpers and swallows hard as Lex comes down his throat. Lex says, "Fuck!" as his knees give out and he slides down to the floor. A blast of cold air whips under the door to cut across his bare ass.

Harris grabs him by the shoulders and lies back on the floor, pulling Lex on top of his body. He says, "Please," and puts Lex's hand on his cock, hard and straining at his jeans. Lex was going to say no to this too, in theory. Instead, he shrugs out of his coat, and toes off his shoes while kissing his way down Harris' body. The submissive gratitude Harris expresses when Lex blows him is hot. Harris' ugly cock sticks straight up, a familiar eyesore, and Lex has missed the feeling of it in his mouth, heavy and slick against his tongue. Lex has barely gotten started, just pulling back to suck on the head, when Harris surprises them both by coming, arching up off the floor and pulsing into Lex's mouth.

Harris pulls him up against his chest, petting him. "God, I missed you," he says happily. He pushes his cold nose against Lex's neck. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too." Lex murmurs. The terrible thing is, it's true.

~~~

Lex wakes up slick with sweat all along the back of his body where Harris is pressed against him. There's a finger in his ass, moving gently and tentatively.

"Harris?"

Harris kisses his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"This." The finger probes a little deeper, touching something that makes Lex gasp and push back. Harris licks him behind his ear. "Could I make you come like this?"

"I—I don't know. Jesus." Lex squirms. He feels like a bug on a pin, except he's not dying.

Wet mouth moves over his shoulder blade, down his spine, and sucks a hard kiss into the small of his back. The finger slides out of his body. "On your knees."

"What are you doing?" Lex tries to turn around, but Harris has a firm hold on his hips.

"This." Tongue dipping between the cheeks of his ass.

"Oh!" Lex opens his mouth to protest because this seems like it should be kind of gross, but instead he slumps forward, shuddering with pleasure. The touch is molten, turns him to syrup and the only thing left solid is his painfully throbbing cock. He growls and squirms backward as Harris' thumbs dig into and spread his ass wide, and hisses at the scrape of stubble on delicate skin. He pushes his face into the pillow to muffle his moans. The lapping, probing tongue is slick and firm, hot and urgent. A hand reaches between his legs, fingers closing around his cock, just holding it, while the tongue pushes inside, then deeper. "Oh _fuck_ ," Lex pleads, as he comes, startled by the intensity.

Harris leans protectively over Lex's quivering form, covering him. His hand strokes Lex's ass, squeezes gently. "Can I?" he asks.

"Can you what?" Lex mumbles, his voice half-lost in the pillow. His cock is still twitching. He can't believe that Harris _licked his ass_. He can't believe how good it felt, either.

"I want to fuck you." It's whispered roughly.

Lex shivers, a little fear mixed with excitement. "I don't know. Have you done it before?"

"No. But I know how."

Lex bites his tongue against a snide remark. "Okay." He thinks a moment. "There's lotion in the drawer," he says. "That's all I've got. You have to promise to go slow."

Harris' mouth against the back of his shoulder, teeth against muscle in a gentle bite. "I promise. Don't worry. I don't want to hurt you." Lex stays curled over, face hidden in the sheets, while Harris digs through his bedside table. "Okay," he says. "Just my finger first, like before," and then a slick finger pushes inside. "I need to stretch you a little."

Lex turns his head and looks at his friend. "What, did you read up on this or something?" And as soon as he says it, he knows that Harris did. He laughs and hooks his arm around Harris' neck, pulling him down for an awkward kiss. When Lex leans his hips back into Harris' touch, he starts to withdraw his hand, but Lex says, "No, don't stop-more, Harris. I want more." One finger was great, two is better, and there is stretching, a kind of burn, but no pain as such. Harris looks panicky, a little frightened, and Lex tries to reassure him. "It doesn't hurt," he says. "I want you to do it."

Harris pulls out his fingers and sits back on his heels. Lex listens to the wet slap of lotion against skin. He flinches a little when a cold dollop of lotion is smeared over his hole. "Sorry," Harris whispers. "You ready?"

Lex wraps his arms around the pillow. "Yeah. Do it."

Pressure and a sharper burn make him bite his lip. Harris moans and runs a hand up and down Lex's back, coming back to rest on his ass, squeezing and pulling him wider apart as he pushes in deeper. Now it hurts. Lex can't believe there's any way this is actually going to work because obviously his body isn't made to work this way, and when he's wracked by a spasm of pain, Harris stops dead.

"Are you okay?"

Lex is holding his breath as he says, "Yeah, I'm good."

"We should stop."

"Don't. Fuck you, Harris. We're not stopping." Lex reaches back blindly and digs his fingers into Harris' thigh, trying to keep him close.

"We'll go slower then. More lotion." Slick fingers rub around the tight join between their skins. Lex lets his breath out in a long sigh and concentrates on relaxing as Harris bends forward to press a quick kiss to his shoulder blade. By tiny fractions, Harris slides deeper in, until finally Lex feels Harris' hipbones against his ass, thighs against the backs of his thighs, crisp hair against his bare skin. Harris says, "Oh Jesus, Lex," and bends to kiss the back of his neck. His arm wraps across Lex's chest. "You're amazing," Harris insists. "You're fucking incredible."

Lex is fucked; he's _fucked_ and it makes the muscles in his thighs turn to jelly, so he tries not to think about it, even though there's a cock in his ass and he can't _not_ acknowledge that. He just takes a deep breath, tells Harris to, "Move!" and arches his back as encouragement. He was prepared for it to hurt, prepared for discomfort and even fear, but he wasn't expecting to _feel_ so much. He's connected to Harris so intimately, as though they share a bloodstream, a heart, a cock. Dark and close, Harris' breath is moist against the back of his shoulder, the shadow on his cheek abrading Lex's tender skin. Harris' cock seems huge now that it's inside him, and when he pulls back, Lex feels for a moment like he'll be turned inside out. But when he thrusts in again, Lex groans, rendered lightheaded by a shockingly _sick_ pleasure. Seriously, he might throw up.

"You still okay?"

Lex says, "Fine," between clenched teeth. He pushes back, arms straight, as Harris tilts his hips forward, and they both gasp. Harris' hands tighten on Lex's hips and he begins to move with steady thrusts. Lex lets his head drop, panting, then lifts it to look back and up at Harris' face. Harris' eyes are closed, his mouth slightly open, and he looks _blissful_ ; he opens his eyes and smiles. Lex's cock is already steadily leaking; he strokes his shaft and yelps into the pillow, spreading his legs as far as he can, wanting Harris as deep inside as possible.

Harris' hand releases his hip and comes to join Lex's hand on his cock. Harris speaks, low and urgent, directly into the curve of Lex's ear, saying, "You feel so good, so fucking good, Lex." All Lex can do in return is whimper, a high-pitched line that staggers along with his heartbeat. The blood pounds so hard in his ears that he almost doesn't hear Harris' next words, but they slip through just as he's coming. He can't find the voice to protest because he's burnt to ash, blown to smithereens.

They collapse together, limbs tangled, and Lex lets Harris kiss him, but then pulls away and says, "Harris, listen to me: You _don't_  love me, all right?" Harris ducks, not meeting his eyes. " _Fuck_ , Harris. You _don't_."

"Fine, whatever." Harris jerks away, sitting up against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest. To Lex's back, he says, "It's just the sex talking, all right? That make you happy?"

"Yes. Very happy. Thank you." And even though he does want Harris to stay, wants to spend all night with him, he doesn't soften, and when Harris suggests that maybe he should go, Lex doesn't disagree.

~~~

It's the first warm day in months. Lex is lying back on the riverbank on a dirty blanket next to Tyler Simms, a joint passing back and forth between them. He's wearing cut-offs, low-top Chucks without socks, an Excelsior Fencing Team T-shirt. He's got Tyler's jacket balled up under his head as a pillow. Tyler's hand rests on Lex's flat stomach, on top of his t-shirt, but wanting permission for more.

The sound of breaking branches heralds Harris' arrival. He stands over them, fists clenched at his sides. "What the fuck?" he demands.

Lex holds Tyler's hand where it is, and cocks an eyebrow at Harris. "Harry. Hi." He extends the joint up toward his friend.

Harris, trembling, repeats, "What the _fuck_ , Lex?"

"S'okay," Lex says. "It's good." He gestures with the joint for Harris to sit, so he does, crouching down in the damp, clayey dirt, glaring daggers at Tyler. Lex stage whispers, "Oh come on. It's not like we're _dating_ , Harry." Tyler snickers.

"Fuck you," Harris says, snatching the joint from Lex's hand. "And don't call me that." With an angry inhale, the ember glows hot orange. When he exhales, he says, "And fuck you too, Simms."

Tyler finally speaks. "Hey, don't take this out on me, dude." He wriggles closer to Lex and slings his arm across Lex's waist. "Anyway, Hughes, that's my pot you're smoking, so fucking chill, all right?"

Harris is silent for a moment, staring off across the river. "Lex," he says. "Lex, can we talk about this?"

Lex shakes his head. "Sorry. We can't." And then he giggles, because it seems like a very wrong, very cruel thing to do. The laughter sends Harris crashing back through the brush, sends him as far away from the riverbank as he can get.

~~~

Lex is out on the lawn, stretched out under a tree with Greg Pryce, when he sees Harris watching from the library steps. Pryce is an idiot, but he's got a pretty mouth.

Pryce has just been staring at him, slack-jawed, for minutes now, but he finally speaks, saying, "So, I was going to go over to the stables. You want to come?"

Lex yawns, bored. Even the prospect of getting his cock sucked by that pretty mouth is boring. "What for?"

Pryce blushes and looks away. "You know. Whatever."

Lex glances over at Harris again. He looks broken, but that can't matter. "Yeah, I guess I'll come." Almost giddy, Pryce jumps instantly to his feet. Lex reaches for a hand up and Pryce is eager to help. Once standing, he shoves his hands in his pockets and heads for the stables, Greg Pryce on his heels. He knows Harris is watching them go, and mentally curses him. If it wasn't for Harrison Hughes, Lex wouldn't have to do this.

~~~

There are rules, an Honor Code he could cite in warning. Coercion and bullying are punishable offenses, and since Harris is a junior and Lex a sophomore, it's possible that Harris has coerced him into an inappropriate relationship. Not _likely_ , of course, but certainly _possible_.

It was a mistake to let Harris fuck him. He can't stop thinking about it, and he wants to do it again. He wants to fuck Harris too. He also can't stop thinking about Harris, stupid Harris, telling Lex that he loved him. Stupid Harris, ruining everything because he can't keep his mouth shut.

Friendship is bad enough. Love is a vulnerability that Lex can't tolerate.

~~~

In the last week, Lex has given and received sexual favors in the stables, the boathouse, the science lab supply closet, a reference row in the library, Mark Richards' room (but not with Mark), and the last row of seats on the bus back from downtown Wickersham. It is likely that Harrison Hughes is aware of at least half of these encounters; the overkill is to make sure that he knows of enough of them.

Lex comes back from the library, and Harris is in the common room in a chair that he's pulled over so he can watch the front door. Lex stops and shakes his head. "Dude. Harris."

"Lex."

"Could you be more obvious? Please."

Harris looks determined and follows Lex up the stairs. They walk in silence to Lex's door. "Lex," he says. "Lex, please."

"What?"

"I want to come in."

"What for?" Key in the lock.

Harris tries to sound reasonable. "I just want to talk."

Lex narrows his eyes. "About what?" He opens the door and lets it swing wide. Harris can follow if he wants.

Harris hovers in the doorway. "Look, okay. You made your point."

"Which is…?"

Harris steps inside and shuts the door. In a low voice, he says, "You're not my boyfriend. I'm not your boyfriend. Something like that."

Lex says, "Jesus. You take things too seriously, Harris. We were just messing around."

"Fine, Lex. Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay, I agree. We're just messing around."

Lex corrects him, "No, we _were_ messing around." He turns and glares at Harris. "Now we're nothing."

~~~

Victoria wears a crimson dress to the spring formal and stands out, raw and vital in a room full of pastel ballerinas. Halfway through the dance, Lex takes her back to the hotel suite that he and a bunch of Excelsior boys have rented, and Victoria shows him how to go down on a girl while Madison tearfully loses her virginity to Harris on the other side of the wall.

Lex, dressed in just his tuxedo pants, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand while Victoria, naked but for her shoes, stretches luxuriously and says, "Madison is an idiot, isn't she? She's never figured out about the two of you."

Lex is distracted by the soft underwater sounds of voices next door, muffled by the wall.

Lex tries playing dumb. He's not very good at it. "What? The two of who?"

Victoria rolls over on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. "You and Harris. It's perfectly obvious."

It seems like a waste of energy to keep trying to lie to her. "No, it's not. It's not obvious at all." He takes a half-melted ice cube out of the champagne bucket and runs it down her back, up the curve of her ass.

"Maybe not to a bunch of stupid colonials," she says, squirming and spreading her legs a little. "We have a long, noble tradition of buggery back home. I know a soppy schoolboy love affair when I see one."

"I'm _not_ gay," he reminds her. "What did we just do?"

"You're good with your mouth," she admits, "But that probably means you're gay." She rolls onto her back, and her full breasts jiggle and slump down her ribcage toward her armpits. He puts his hand low on her stomach and she arches up into his touch. "Go ahead," she says. "Prove how straight you are."

Lex offers his proof, in full confidence that she'll play the game correctly, giving and getting with more self-interest than generosity. And he'll do the same. There's no reason to miss Harris now, not when he has Victoria. She's a better choice all around. She isn't going to ruin everything by blurting out a sloppy, problematic, heartfelt confession.  _I love you_. What a stupid thing to say.

He lies awake long after they've finished, long after Victoria has fallen asleep.

He listens hard, but can't hear anything from Harris' room now.

He doesn't know what he's waiting to hear.


End file.
